jay_moose

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes..you just might find...you get what you need.

Anyway, i just...it's not a vent by any means..it's just...disappointment. Almost...achey disappointment.

I have to work. Bottom line. I like my job, surprisingly, and after a close call with my boss (Who later emailed me to apologize...she'd had a rough few days, and i'd gotten the short end of the stick), i've been pushing myself to do my best at work.

And, y'know...i'm not alone in the situation. People have work on weekends when they'd rather not...rather hang out with friends, or just blob around. Maybe it would be easier if i worked both shifts saturday and sunday, as opposed to saturday night, and two sunday shifts. It wouldn't give me a weekend, granted, but...i digress. My not vent:

Tomorrow night there's going to be a meteor shower...my meetup group organized a get together out in flagstaff at a campground, camping out under the stars, watching the meteors. And i have to work tomorrow, 4-6. Then on Sunday morning, Sunday evening. Which, i don't know..maybe if i didn't work Sundays, there was a slight chance i could do the meetup.

It's stupid...but at the same time, it's not. I'm recognizing that i'm a 21 year old female with an actual social group...who's just missing out on something wonderful. All my friends are going...some i haven't seen in months, some i saw a few days ago. Weekends are just...i dunno. Work. last week, a group went camping, and i was very jealous ;). I would have loved to join them...pictures were put up...and it made it worse. it was just stunning..the view...everything.

I feel like it's the polar opposite of what it should be. Working nights during the day (where at least i could go out after work), but missing out on some really amazing experiences on the weekends. God, i'd love to go camping.

Tomorrow in Flagstaff...i'd give an arm and a leg to do, to be honest. You don't get many experiences to view a meteor shower in the country, surrounding by people you care for, and really enjoy being with. Sounds almost like a fantasy....friends, camping out under the stars, a meteor shower, campfire. There's going to be a grill, and someone mentioned s'mores! And if i know this group, it's going to be a blast.

So, yeah, i'm..disappointed. And i'm allowing myself to be. Probably the most disappointed i've been regarding missing a meetup since i joined...and knowing there's going to be more to come.

I just...really, really, really would like to go, is all. It's something i've never done, something i'd love to do. Try something knew. It's also being able to take a step back and say to myself:

"Look at you, self. You're hours from home, camping out with friends. You wouldn't have been able to do this months ago...years ago. See how far you've come?"

So here i am, literally switching to the meetup page, unable to bring myself to click 'No' under RSVP. Just push the button...PUSH THE BUTTON

Che..sera, sera.

Don't suppose i'll be allowed a bit of a sulk before work tonight, eh?